This is the fourth article in a series by Susan Kruger of SOAR® Learning, LLC covering her ‘Homework Problems Inventory’. We hope you find this series helpful as the school year progresses.
Issue #4- Reducing Parents’ Homework
“I am tired of always having to be in charge.”
“It is very challenging for me to keep track of all of the school papers, sports schedules, lunch menus, etc.”
What’s the Problem?
We have already discussed some of the common communication gaps that naturally occur among busy families: families who are juggling the responsibilities of 1 or 2 jobs, school, homework, house-hold management, extra-curricular activities, family and social obligations, etc. With so many competing priorities, it is very easy to see how communication can break down.
As the “head of the household” you carry the lion’s share of the burden for these priorities. Meanwhile, the rest of your family is likely unaware of the juggling act that you are struggling to maintain.
Once, when I was in 7th or 8th grade, my mom must have thought that I was being a bit bratty and demanding of my dad’s time. “You know,” she said, “Your father takes a lot of time to drive you around. You need to be more patient and more grateful for the time he gives up to help you.”
I was utterly shocked by this realization…that Dad had a life and concerns outside of being my chauffeur. I thought I was a fairly kind and considerate child/young adult, but that moment was an eye-opener for me. I had truly never thought about Dad’s perspective before.
The same thing is true for most children. We are born as ego-centric creatures and it takes a lot of time and guidance before we grow out of that narrow focus. Your children are probably just as unaware as I was of the number of things you do for them – directly and indirectly.
Why is this happening?
Somewhere, somehow, messages in our society have led us to believe that we have to be “super parents” and do everything for our families. When did we lose the idea that we can delegate tasks and share some responsibilities?
What can be done about it?
My grandmother had seven children. She taught all of them -4 boys and 3 girls- how to cook, clean, and sew from a very young age. She expected each of them to contribute to running their home.
She delegated.
And, she empowered.
She expected each of them to learn how to be productive members of her family as a way of teaching them how to be productive members of society.
Transferring tasks to your children is a win-win situation for both of you. You win because you get some help. Your children win because they have the opportunity to develop some responsibility. You can start small…have them make the phone call to a friend to see if they can get a ride to soccer practice or fill our their lunch menu for the week and calculate the cost.
This process may seem a little daunting at first, but once you start thinking about it, you will probably begin to notice little ways you can pass tasks on to them. Our Homework Help! for Parents CDs and e-book also include simple routines for a more “systematic” transfer of responsibilities of various age-appropriate tasks. Children of all ages enjoy feeling like a productive member of the family. As a result, you will have happier, more cooperative children…and a little more free time.
“By Susan Kruger of SOAR® Study Skills. Please visit
Susan’s web site at http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=L8ell&m=1axauS4Vd6QrBb&b=inirOt6PA2ET2wE2Uw3IlA for additional articles and resources to make managing homework easier.”
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