This is the second article in a series by Susan Kruger of SOAR® Learning, LLC covering her ‘Homework Problems Inventory’. We hope you find this series helpful as the school year progresses.
Issue #2- Curing “Last-Minute Syndrome”
#3 “Our schedules are crazy! It is hard to make time for homework.”
#4 “My child saves everything for the last minute!”
What’s the Problem?
Both of these situations are incredibly frustrating and they both go hand-in-hand, according to my “law” of time-management…
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…which is, “Anything that happens ‘last-minute’ will automatically take two times longer than it would have if the situation had been planned-out ahead of time.”
If your family is regularly losing valuable time as a result of simple, everyday tasks, you will automatically begin to function in a state of chaos. Homework, being the undesirable task that it typically is, compounds the problem because it escalates the fights and arguments amongst a family that is most-likely already “strung out.”
Everyday we hear from parents who are completely frustrated, thinking they are the only ones who cannot “get it together.” In reality, most families are in a similar situation. Growing up, mine was no different.
My two younger brothers and I were always getting in trouble with Dad. We were notorious for coming to Dad at 9:30 PM to tell him about supplies we needed for a science project that was due, of course, the very next day. Dad would be livid! “Why can’t you kids learn to plan ahead!?” he would bellow in sheer frustration.
Why is this Happening?
The problem was that we did not know how to plan ahead. The only times we were ever prompted to think about planning ahead were at the moments when Dad was angry, which caused us to become angry as well. Science has proven that when a brain is angry, it is incapable of learning. So, our pattern continued.
As an adult, I can now recognize the core reasons why we were causing Dad so much frustration, and why in turn, he was driving us crazy too.
For one, each family member had competing priorities and there was no coordination of our plans. Yes, we were guilty of waiting until the last-minute to tell Dad about our science project, but he was famous for waiting until the last-minute to tell us about appointments he had scheduled or errands he had to run. He would pick us up from school and the next thing we knew, we were being whisked off to the orthodontist. We were hungry, tired, and had been looking forward to getting home and relaxing. Being at the orthodontist was about as far from relaxing as we could imagine. We did not appreciate not knowing about this ahead of time.
We had not taken the time to communicate our priorities, goals, and desires. As simple as it may sound, having 30 minutes to “chill” in front of the TV with an afternoon snack would have greatly helped our disposition. Of course, that is not possible every day, but we would then have appreciated knowing about those orthodontist appointments or errands to the grocery and hardware store ahead of time.
Our family functioned like most do; the children and parents had competing priorities and time-constraints and neither group thought to view the daily situation from the other’s perspective. This is a classic case of not being able to see the forest through the trees.
Secondly, children are not taught how to plan ahead, but as adults, we assume they should know how to do it…that they will just “figure it out.” In reality, this is a very high expectation that few children are able to meet. Time is a very vague concept for children, even for teenagers. The process of “thinking forward” requires the ability for a child to visualize things that have not yet happened and then imagine his place and circumstances in the imaginary time. This is a very high-level thought process that is not very likely to develop on its own.
What can be done about it?
While it is not possible to completely eliminate all “last-minute” circumstances in life, most can be prevented by learning how to overcome these common communication and time-management problems within a family. Parents and students can begin some two-way communication…sharing schedules and plans with one another before-hand. A bit of forward communication can prevent hours of problems. Parents can also teach their child how to plan ahead by modeling it themselves…telling their children about plans as early as possible, then reciprocating with, “Do you have anything coming up that I should know about?” (You may be amazed at how much difference a little two-way communication will make!)
Another strategy is to have students brainstorm common times and places that they can “pause” and “think forward” for a moment. One location might be at their locker at the end of the school day when they can pause and think, “What will I need for homework tonight?” (This question typically does NOT go through a child’s mind, especially if they are feeling rushed to catch a bus or their ride home.)
All of these strategies can be accomplished in a simple routine that will only cost families ten minutes of their time…and will likely save them hours! To learn how your family can transform chaos into control with a small investment of time, check out the “Set goals” section of our Homework Help! for Parents CDs and e-book.
“By Susan Kruger of SOAR® Study Skills. Please visit
Susan’s web site at http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=L8ell&m=1axauS4Vd6QrBb&b=inirOt6PA2ET2wE2Uw3IlA for additional articles and resources to make managing homework easier.”
